Movies aimed at children are typically more lighthearted affairs, but that doesn’t stop the occasional screenwriter from injecting some surprisingly chilling dialogue into an otherwise family-friendly story. Even the best movies made for kids are less intense by their very nature, with rating guidelines and cultural sensibilities usually demanding a more relaxed tone. While children’s films can delve into more serious topics like heartbreak and death, it’s certainly rare for their dialogue to be exactly hardcore.
It’s a rare few kid’s movies that break this trend, doling out some hard-hitting quotes that stand with the best movie lines in history. Sometimes, these witticisms make sense in an overall more mature family picture skating by on a PG or PG-13 rating, but in other instances, they feel jarringly out-of-place in an otherwise fun or downright vapid piece of children’s entertainment. Sounding even more hardcore when taken out of context, it’s hard to believe some lines ever made it into the final draft of a kid’s movie screenplay.
10 “Do You Think God Stays In Heaven Because He, Too, Lives In Fear Of What He’s Created?”
Romero, Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams
If there’s one kid’s movie franchise that’s unashamedly childish, it’s Robert Rodriguez’s Spy Kids movies. Filled to the brim with nonsensical slapstick humor, cartoonish CGI, and hilariously silly line reads, a deeply philosophical script isn’t exactly what audiences expect going in to any of the pint-sized espionage thrillers.
Related Every Diary of a Wimpy Kid Movie Ranked (Including 2021 Disney+ Reboot)
There have been five film adaptations of Jeff Kinney’s popular book series, Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Here’s every movie, ranked from worst to best.
However, Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams dispenses a shocking deep and disturbing line when the junior OSS agents meet Steve Buscemi’s Romero, a secluded scientist. Romero tells Juni and Carmen Cortez how he came to be stuck hiding away in a secretive volcano lair on the titular island after his genetic experiments went awry, populating the land with all manner of fantastical creatures.
Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams 0
Your Rating
5 stars4.5 stars4 stars3.5 stars3 star2.5 stars2 stars1.5 stars1 stars0.5 star Rate Now Submit Rate Now Edit Leave a Review
Your comment has not been saved
PG
Director Robert Rodriguez Release Date August 7, 2002 Cast Antonio Banderas , Carla Gugino , Alexa Vega , Daryl Sabara , Mike Judge , Ricardo Montalban , Holland Taylor , Christopher McDonald , Cheech Marin , Steve Buscemi Runtime 100 Minutes
While staring deep into the middle distance, Romero muses on how he’d been playing God, questioning if his own divine creator might also live in fear of humanity. Seeing this line by itself with no context, it would be impossible to guess it came from a film as campy and lighthearted as Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams.
9 “For Every Person Who Dreams Up The Electric Bulb, There’s The One Who Dreams Up The Atom Bomb.”
Mister Electric, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D
Of course, Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams wouldn’t be the only children’s movie by Robert Rodriguez to posit some hardcore philosophical musings. Enter The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D, an even more absurd film that makes the Spy Kids series seem like an award-winning drama.
The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 0
Your Rating
5 stars4.5 stars4 stars3.5 stars3 star2.5 stars2 stars1.5 stars1 stars0.5 star Rate Now Submit Rate Now Edit
Your comment has not been saved
PGAdventureActionComedy Director Robert Rodriguez Release Date June 10, 2005 Cast Cayden Boyd , George Lopez , Kristin Davis , David Arquette
One memorable element is George Lopez’s Mister Electric, protagonist Max’s nightmare interpretation of his homeroom teacher at school. Mister Electric’s appearance as a giant face projected across the screen of a lightbulb-shaped automaton coursing with electricity makes for an amusing sight.
It’s a shame Lopez’s Mister Electric didn’t return to the screen for
Oppenheimer.
In one instance, however, Mister Electric utterly derails the whimsical tone of the story when he rambles about the destructive potential of dreams. After all, “For every person who dreams up the electric bulb, there’s the one who dreams up the atom bomb.” It’s a shame Lopez’s Mister Electric didn’t return to the screen for Oppenheimer.
8 “It’s A Dog-Eat-Dog World, And There’s Not Enough Dog To Go Around.”
Zootie, Babe: Pig in the City
Famously, the sequel to the classic, adorable farmhouse story of Babe exists in the bizarre filmography of George Miller, better known for the Mad Max series. Whereas the first film was a calm, gentle, uplifting story about an adorable farm animal who managed to beat the odds, the Babe: Pig in the City is decidedly darker, keeping in line with Miller’s own macabre sensibilities. This is no better demonstrated than with the wise words said by, of all characters, a chimpanzee named Zootie.
Babe: Pig in the City 0
Your Rating
5 stars4.5 stars4 stars3.5 stars3 star2.5 stars2 stars1.5 stars1 stars0.5 star Rate Now Submit Rate Now Edit
Your comment has not been saved
PGAdventureComedyDrama Director George Miller Release Date November 25, 1998 Cast Magda Szubanski , Elizabeth Daily , Mickey Rooney , James Cromwell , Mary Stein , Danny Mann , Glenne Headly , Steven Wright
Babe: Pig in the City gets shockingly philosophical at one point, when the film’s coterie of animals discuss the notion that all that matters is what’s happening at the present moment, “All you got is this actual now-ness.” To punctuate the sentiment, Zootie the Chimpanzee coldly claims “It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and there’s not enough dog to go around.” No line better encapsulates the grimy urban madness of Babe: Pig in the City better than this hilariously nihilistic quote.
7 “Your Future Is A Horror Story, Written By Your Crime!”
Marley and Marley, The Muppet Christmas Carol
One of the most endearingly charming Christmas movies ever made, The Muppet Christmas Carol which adapted Charles Dickens’ classic novel A Christmas Carol with a Muppet flair. The film was a shockingly faithful depiction of the story, despite all the Muppet silliness, made all the better by the esteemed actor Michael Caine playing his role as Ebeneezer Scrooge as serious as the grave. While the script occasionally lifted lines straight from the book, its songs also packed some lyrical bombs.
The Muppet Christmas Carol 2
Your Rating
5 stars4.5 stars4 stars3.5 stars3 star2.5 stars2 stars1.5 stars1 stars0.5 star Rate Now Submit Rate Now Edit Leave a Review
Your comment has not been saved
g
Director Brian Henson Release Date December 11, 1992 Cast Michael Caine , Dave Goelz Writers Brian Henson Runtime 85minutes
The most alarming of these comes during the song sang by Marley and Marley, the ghostly apparitions standing in for Jacob Marley in the original text, portrayed by the Muppets Statler and Waldorf. One rhyme of their ghoulish song warns Scrooge about his afterlife should his current greedy trajectory continue, warning “Your future is a horror story, written by your crime!” This lyric wouldn’t be out of place in a heavy metal anthem, let alone a song in a holiday-themed movie featuring the lovable Muppets.
6 “Go To Hell” “Where Do You Think I Came From?”
Beans to Rattlesnake Jake, Rango
Easily one of the legendary Gore Verbinski’s best films, Rango is utterly unique as a children’s film. Conveyed with grimy, ultra-realistic graphics that nevertheless render cartoony animal characters, the neo-Western balances goofy gags and Johnny Depp’s outrageous performance as the titular lizard Sheriff with genuinely exciting action featuring flying bullets and risqué humor that easily flies over kids’ heads. The one element the script never jokes with, however, is the terrifying villain Rattlesnake Jake.
Rango 
2.5 1
Your Rating
5 stars4.5 stars4 stars3.5 stars3 star2.5 stars2 stars1.5 stars1 stars0.5 star Rate Now Submit Rate Now Edit Leave a Review
Your comment has not been saved
PG
Director Gore Verbinski Release Date March 4, 2011 Cast Johnny Depp , Isla Fisher , Timothy Olyphant , Abigail Breslin , Ned Beatty , Alfred Molina , Bill Nighy , Stephen Root , Harry Dean Stanton , Ray Winstone , Ian Abercrombie , Blake Clark Runtime 107 Minutes
A massive venomous outlaw snake with a Gatling Gun for a rattle, Rattlesnake Jake is as fearsome an enemy as could ever be dreamed up by the universe of Rango‘s anthropomorphic animals. Jake enjoys his terrifying reputation, styling himself as a demon from hell, which he refers to as his home during a tense conversation with Beans. The venom with which Bill Nighy, who played Verbinski’s other most famous villain, Davy Jones, spits out this line is just as caustic as Jake’s own.
5 “You’d Be Surprised What You Can Live Through”
Jafar, The Return of Jafar
The Disney direct-to-video sequels don’t have the highest of reputations, usually swept under the rug by both Disney themselves and fans alike. If there’s one of them that deserves some recognition for its writing, however, it’s Aladdin follow-up The Return of Jafar. Making good on the first movie’s promise of the threat of Jafar with the all-powerful cosmic lisence to alter the universe as a genie, the film plays with the typical conventions for the magical beings established in the first film.
The Return of Jafar (1994) 0
Your Rating
5 stars4.5 stars4 stars3.5 stars3 star2.5 stars2 stars1.5 stars1 stars0.5 star Rate Now Submit Rate Now Edit
Your comment has not been saved
TV-Y7
Director Toby Shelton , Tad Stones , Alan Zaslove Release Date May 20, 1994 Cast Jason Alexander , Jonathan Freeman , Jeff Bennett , Gilbert Gottfried , Val Bettin , Brad Kane , Liz Callaway , Linda Larkin , Dan Castellaneta , B.J. Ward , Jim Cummings , Scott Weinger , Frank Welker Runtime 69 Minutes
Attempting to rationalize away Jafar’s threat, Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves, attempts to throw Jafar’s own admission of his limitations back in his face. Reminding Jafar that he isn’t capable of using his powers to kill, the evil djinn merely states “You’d be surprised what you can live through.” This is later repeated in defeat by the original Genie during a close encounter with Jafar. The chilling line has some disturbing implications regarding fates worse than death Jafar might have in mind for his enemies.
4 “I Have Better Things To Do Tonight Than Die”
Springer, The Transformers: The Movie
While Transformers One may be reinvigorating the franchise after decades of live-action films, it’s easy to forget that the latest entry in the Transformers series is merely returning to the roots of the original film. The very first theatrical appearance of the Cybertronians, The Transformers: The Movie is quite dark in some respects, famously killing off Optimus Prime much to the dismay of young fans of the first generation. This uneven tone also shone through in certain dialogue exchanges throughout the film.
The Transformers: The Movie 0
Your Rating
5 stars4.5 stars4 stars3.5 stars3 star2.5 stars2 stars1.5 stars1 stars0.5 star Rate Now Submit Rate Now Edit
Your comment has not been saved
PG Director Nelson Shin Release Date August 8, 1986 Cast Norman Alden , Jack Angel , Michael Bell , gregg berger , Susan Blu , Arthur Burghardt
The above line is said by Springer, an Autobot with a helicopter alternate mode with a bombastic action hero personality. He shows off this character trait in the film during the defense of Autobot City, a proud declaration of his intent to survive the harrowing battle. Considering how many cartoons avoid the word “die” like the plauge, in favor of synonyms like “destroy”, it’s quite a treat to hear such dramatic dialogue come from a toy-line-generating franchise like Transformers.
3 “How Many Men Does It Take To Deliver A Message?” “One.”
Shan Yu, Mulan
Even if the direct-to-video Disney sequels may have been afforded more room to get dark compared to their theatrically-released older siblings, Disney isn’t always afraid to get serious with its stories. This is particularly the case for Mulan, which doesn’t shy away from depicting the horrors of war, even if sanitized through an ultimately kid-friendly lens.
Mulan (1998) 0
Your Rating
5 stars4.5 stars4 stars3.5 stars3 star2.5 stars2 stars1.5 stars1 stars0.5 star Rate Now Submit Rate Now Edit Leave a Review
Your comment has not been saved
Director Barry Cook , Tony Bancroft Release Date June 19, 1998 Cast Ming-Na Wen , Eddie Murphy , BD Wong , Miguel Ferrer , June Foray , James Hong , Pat Morita , George Takei Runtime 87 Minutes
These themes shine through the most during the scene in which the villainous Hun Shan Yu allows two Chinese soldiers to flee in order to let the Emperor know he’s coming. Watching the two men run away, Shan Yu scratches his chin, realizing that both of them needn’t survive to deliver such a message.
Although the final kill happens off-screen, this terrifying line bears the weight of one of Disney’s few overt murders.
He conveys as much to his archer, who gleefuly nocks an arrow and takes aim in order to permanently relieve one of the messengers of his duties. Although the final kill happens off-screen, this terrifying line bears the weight of one of Disney’s few overt murders.
2 “This Is What It Looks Like When You’ve Actually Fought In A Battle.”
Ezylryb, Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole
Based on a best-selling young adult fantasy series, Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole is an odd syllistic outlier in Zack Snyder’s filmography. A family-friendly story may seem out-of-place for the director, more famous for dark and gritty storytelling, but Snyder handles the adaptation well enough. That being said, he’s also sure to interject a personal touch of heavier themes into the script, with one particular line standing out for its authenticity.
Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole 3.5 0
Your Rating
5 stars4.5 stars4 stars3.5 stars3 star2.5 stars2 stars1.5 stars1 stars0.5 star Rate Now Submit Rate Now Edit
Your comment has not been saved
PG Director Zack Snyder Release Date July 10, 2010 Cast Emily Barclay , Abbie Cornish , Essie Davis , Adrienne DeFaria , Joel Edgerton , Deborra-Lee Furness Runtime 97 minutes
At one point in the film, the idealistic and eager owl Soren learns that his teacher, Ezylryb, is secretly his personal hero, the warrior owl Lyze of Kiel. Soren is shocked to see the unflattering condition Ezylryb’s body is in due to his battles, which the aged mentor uses as a teachable moment. Lyze assures Soren that warfare isn’t glamorous or noble, but a harsh truth one must have to occasionally endure. It’s quite shocking to see such a poignant message about the horrors of war manifest in such a fantastical movie starring talking owls.
1 “The Only Hope Is The Sweet Release Of Death.”
Lumalee, The Super Mario Bros. Movie
Not every hardcore-sounding line in a children’s movie feels like an out-of-place genre shift. Occasionally, such weighty lines are played for laughs, as is the case with the lamentations of Lumalee. A cutsey living star providing the film’s representation for the Super Mario Galaxy series, Lumalee is a prisoner of Bowser alongside Luigi and many other creatures of the Mushroom Kingdom.
The Super Mario Bros. Movie 3.0 1
Your Rating
5 stars4.5 stars4 stars3.5 stars3 star2.5 stars2 stars1.5 stars1 stars0.5 star Rate Now Submit Rate Now Edit Leave a Review
Your comment has not been saved
PGAnimationAdventureComedy
Director Aaron Horvath , Michael Jelenic Release Date April 5, 2023 Writers Matthew Fogel Runtime 92 Minutes
Lumalee is comically morose, despite his peppy tone and childlike voice. He scares Luigi by postulating that the only hope for escape from Bowser’s clutches is “The sweet release of death,” providing by far the most morbid lines of the entire film. The nihilistic Lumalee even seems to want to die, disappointed by his eventual rescue. Even if his lines are played off as jokes, out of context, they’re quite macabre, making for one of the most alarmingly nihilistic characters in any kid’s movie.