The funniest White Chicks quotes highlight why it’s remembered as one of the most outrageous comedies of the 2000s. Co-written by and starring the Wayans brothers, 2004’s White Chicks is about two Black male cops named Kevin (Shawn Wayans) and Marcus (Marlon Wayans) who must adopt the personas of two upper-middle-class white women to go undercover and solve a kidnapping. While this film faced negative reviews, it achieved cult classic status for its over-the-top humor and hilarious performances from the Wayans. Nearly two decades after the film first hit theaters, White Chicks quotes remain part of pop culture, with some attaining immortality through memes and viral short clips.
For some, White Chicks exemplifies the idea of a movie being so bad that it’s good. Combined with the absurdity of Kevin and Marcus convincing everyone that they’re the Wilson sisters, their dedication to their disguises resulted in two of the most beloved comedic characters in movie history. This premise then laid the groundwork for White Chicks to get away with some boundary-pushing humor and outlandish gags. This resulted in several White Chicks quotes that are almost impossible to forget, and they don’t all come from Shawn and Marlon Mayans, with many of the rest of the cast also providing memorable moments.
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25 “Once You Go Black, You Gonna Need A Wheelchair”
Latrell Spencer (Terry Crews)
Terry Crews is, for many, one of the funniest actors in White Chicks, and the source of many of the 2004 movie’s best quotes. Like many of the iconic lines in the film, much of what comes out of the mouth of his character Latrell Spencer’s mouth is problematic by modern standards, but this doesn’t stop it being laugh-out-loud hilarious for many fans. This is the case with his now-infamous twist on an already problematic idiom, when he tells Marcus (while disguised as Tiffany) “Once you go black, you gonna need a wheelchair”.
For many obvious reasons, this isn’t a joke that’s in good taste by modern sensibilities. However, Cruise’s delivery, not to mention the reaction of Marlon Wayans while in costume as Tiffany, make the moment a gut-buster among the funniest White Chicks quotes. Like most of the movie, this quote from White Chicks is likely considered distasteful by some, but this doesn’t stop it being repeated often (both in person and, more recently, in memes) by fans.
24 “His Aunt Died Three Years Ago And He Really Needs New Headshots. He’s Just Going Through A Really Rough Time Right Now. Okay?”
Karen (Busy Philipps)
Karen (Busy Philipps) is something of an underrated White Chicks character, though she manages to come out with some incredibly funny quotes when she appears. One particular example is when she and Tori are discussing Heath, one of the antagonists of the 2004 comedy, when he arrives at a party. Karen is smitten with Heath, and begins to panic when she sees him at the event, prompting her friend Tori to claim she doesn’t understand the appeal – “He’s an out-of-work actor living in a share house. And he drives a 3 Series BMW.“
Karen immediately jumps to Heath’s defense, and it’s her justification for Heath’s lifestyle that makes for one of the best quotes in White Chicks. She is quick to shut Tori down, justifying his lack of motivation and inability to get his acting career off the ground by making some incredibly trivial problems seem like traumatic events. While her mentioning his aunt died three years ago is funny enough, it’s the fact she sees him needing new headshots as a major tragedy that truly makes this White Chicks quote so funny.
23 “These Starving Kids In Africa Make Me So Sad. They Don’t Even Have To Try To Be Skinny!”
Megan Vandegeld (Brittany Daniel)
The Vandergeld sisters, Megan and Heather, are the secondary villains in White Chicks, and are caricatures of entitled rich young adults who grew up with struggle-free lives of luxury. As a pair, the characters are absolutely hilarious, and each is responsible for some of the best White Chick quotes (and ones that also come with a dash of social satire).
One of the best quotes from Megan Vandergeld (Brittany Daniels) comes when discussing global issues and charity. When the issue of global food poverty is brought up, Megan immediately chimes in to express how distressing she finds the knowledge that so many children in Africa have to go without food. However, she then immediately flips this statement around to show just how self-centered and image-obsessed she is by revealing that the reason she finds them so upsetting is that she views the impact of starvation as a way to remain skinny without trying.
22 “What A Beautiful Chocolate Man! Beautiful!”
Kevin Copeland As Brittany Wilson (Shawn Wayans)
A key reason that White Chicks is so funny is the outlandish personalities Shawn and Marlon Wayans give their characters after they transform in Tiffany and Brittany Wilson. While there are dozens of reasons why the personas are so hilarious, a key aspect is how Kevin and Marcus Copeland interact with other Black men while in their disguises as the titular white chicks. The pair waste no time using the opportunity to regurgitate the subtle racism they must have experienced in their own lives – and, in the context of the film, it’s laugh-out-loud funny.
One of the best examples is when the pair are interacting with FBI Section Chief Elliott Gordon (Frankie Faison). Kevin, as Brittany, proceeds to flirt by telling him he looks just like Denzel Washington, playing on the common trope of racist white people assuming all Black people look alike. While Gordon takes the compliment, Kevin/Brittany then kicks things up a notch by describing Gordon as a “beautiful chocolate man!”. In any other context this joke would, of course, be abhorrent, but when framed within the satirical social commentary that is White Chicks, it’s nothing chort of hilarious.
21 “Look, King Kong”
Marcus Copeland As Tiffany Williams (Marlon Wayans)
Terry Crews as Latrell Spencer is one of the highlights of White Chicks, but as well as being the source of some of the funniest quotes directly, he also prompts some of the best from Marlon and Shawn Wayans too. Spencer’s constant attempts to woo Tiffany and Brittany (while being completely unaware they’re actually Kevin and Marcus Copeland in disguise) are hilarious enough in their own right, but the pair’s attempts to rebuff him can be equally as funny.
One occasion that especially stands out among the best White Chicks quotes is when Marcus, as Tiffany, has finally had enough of Latrell’s advances. He launches into a tirade, comparing Latrell to King Kong in one of the many long-winded insults in White Chicks that remind audiences few actors could pull off the movie quite as well as Shawn and Marlon Wayans:
Look, King Kong. Why don’t you take you and your 1980s pick-up lines, climb all the way up to the top of the Empire State Building, beat on your big old monkey chest, and then jump off? Excuse me.
20 “Nevermind. Wrong Store.”
Drug Dealer (Zoltan Barabas)
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As a comedy, White Chicks is so memorable because of its central characters, Kevin and Marcus. However, they’re not the only source of the best quotes in the movie, and one of the funniest early on comes from a minor character. The opening scene of White Chicks shows off heroes Kevin and Marcus in their undercover work as they disguise themselves during a sting operation to take down a drug shipment. However, it also shows that they are reckless agents who are not always on top of things.
After taking down their target they think is disguised as an ice cream delivery man, they discover he actually is an innocent bystander delivering ice cream. Just then, the real dealer enters the store and says the shipment is ready. Looking around at the cops and arrested “criminals,” he suggests he’s at the wrong store with a hilarious deadpan delivery.
19 “Marcus Has Something He Wants To Tell You.”
Kevin Copeland (Shawn Wayans)
While White Chicks isn’t a movie that appeals to everyone with its broad humor, the chemistry between Marlon and Shawn Wayans has always been a highlight of their projects together. It’s arguably this dynamic that ensured White Chicks became a cult classic, and were it any other pair of actors in the central roles, there’s a good chance the movie wouldn’t be remembered anywhere nearly as fondly.
Seeing their dynamic as partners in this action comedy provides another fun excuse for them to share the screen. Indeed, Marcus and Kevin’s brotherly relationship translates to their work as they are constantly bickering and pushing each other’s buttons. While Kevin is the one who insists they stand up to their boss he throws his brother under the bus the moment the confrontation starts by suggesting it was all Marcus’ idea.
18 “What Do You Mean ‘Broke’? Like, Martha Stewart ‘Broke’? Or MC Hammer ‘Broke?'”
Heather Vandergeld (Jaime King)
The majority of the funniest moments in White Chicks are down to Marl and Shawn Wayans and their incredible on-screen chemistry, though this doesn’t mean they’re the only source of hilarious quotes in the movie. The Vandergeld sisters also have some incredibly funny lines, such as this particularly hilarious quote from Heather Vandergeld.
Her brattiness really shows with the witty line, underscoring how spoiled the sisters have been all their lives.
The Vandergelds are used to their lavish lifestyle full of parties, private jets, and designer bags. This is why it’s almost impossible for Heather to comprehend the fact that they’re “MC Hammer ‘broke,” serving as a nice bit of karmic payback for the self-centered girls. Her brattiness really shows with the witty line, underscoring how spoiled the sisters have been all their lives. Things take a turn for the worse when their dad admits he has been “funneling money out of the charity” and into their private accounts, which only causes the siblings to cry and prepare for their new less grand life ahead.
17 “I Checked Mapquest. It Only Takes 6 Minutes to Get There From Here.”
Gina Copeland (Faune A. Chambers)
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One of the subplots of White Chicks involves Marcus’ unhealthy relationship with his wife. She is a domineering woman who is always keeping tabs on him and not trusting him whenever he is out of the house. The movie introduces her controlling ways when Marcus returns home in the evening and explains that he was at the bar. However, Gina reveals she called the bar to see when he left and insists there are two minutes unaccounted for.
The fact that she would confront him over what he could have allegedly done wrong with those two minutes is a hilarious notion — if more than a little toxic — and the over-the-top delivery of Faune A. Chambers makes this one of the best White Chicks quotes to stem from Marcus’ unhealthy marriage.
16 “I Don’t See Why I Gotta Go Out With Buffy The White Girl Slayer.”
Marcus Copeland (Marlon Wayans)
The majority of the funniest White Girls quotes from Marlon and Shawn Wayans come after the pair have assumed the identities of Brittany and Tiffany Wilson, though there’s more than one hilarious moment when the pair are simply being Marcus and Kevin Copeland. Marcus is understandably annoyed that Kevin gets to go out on a date, which leaves him to deal with Lattrell’s aggressive and unwanted advances. Kevin persuades Marcus to cover for him, as he claims that he really likes the girl he met and wants to try and impress her.
Marcus’ reaction shows that he feels betrayed and frustrated about Kevin’s much better evening out. The seamless reference to Buffy the Vampire Slayer may be lost on younger audiences today, but the sharp pop culture joke helps to cement White Chicks as a classic comedy of its 2000s era.
15 “Triple T-K-A! Time To Totally Kick Ass!”
Marcus Copeland (Marlon Wayans)
The chemistry between the two real-life and on-screen siblings, Marlon Wayans’ Marcus and Shawn Wayans’ Kevin, is emphasized in the scene where they realize they have enough on Warren Vandergeld to put him away. They contemplate calling for backup before they bust the embezzling Vandergeld patriarch, but remember that they’re “all the backup” they need.
It’s also one of the quotes that’s often repeated, simply because it works surprisingly well as a funny and yet motivational turn of phrase.
The “T-K-A” line that follows has become one of the more iconic White Chicks quotes, as it speaks volumes about the pair’s personality and friendship. It’s also one of the quotes that’s often repeated, simply because it works surprisingly well as a funny and yet motivational turn of phrase. The movie likely wouldn’t have reached the cult-yet-controversial status if they had cast anyone else for those roles, and the delivery of the T-K-A line proves it.
14 “Hi, I’m Cellulite Sally, Look At My Huge Ba-Donkey.”
Lisa Anderson (Jennifer Carpenter)
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Jennifer Carpenter may be best known for playing Debra Morgan on Dexter, but one of her lesser-known roles was as Lisa Anderson in White Chicks, and she has one of the best quotes in the entire movie. A humorous and somewhat unsettling scene for Kevin happens in a tiny dressing room, as Lisa reveals that she’s not as calm and collected as she seems on the surface. Her insecurities begin pouring out comically, as she begins talking to her body parts and calling them “Back Fat Betty” and “Tina the Talking Tummy.”
Jennifer Carpenter is hilarious in her White Chicks role with her exceedingly manic delivery of the lines. However, the quotes also work as social commentary, as they highlight the unnecessary pressure women have to deal with because of unrealistic beauty standards. The character is a world away from Debra Morgan, and comparing the two shows just how versatile Carpenter can be as a presence on screen.
13 “I’m Gonna Have A BF!”
Kevin Copeland (Shawn Wayans)
Just like the “T-K-A” line, another hilarious moment in White Chicks that leads to one of the best quotes in the movie also comes down to an often-repeated abbreviation among fans, the “BF”. Marcus and Kevin almost blow their cover when they’re asked for identification in a hotel, but thanks to some quick thinking and a touch of drama, they get away with their fake personas.
Taking cues from the real white sisters they are impersonating, Kevin goes on a rant about a botched surgery that makes the sisters look unrecognizable, which is only made better when Kevin finishes it with a threat of a “BF.” The confused clerk asks them what that is, to which Marcus frantically replies with “a b**** fit.” It is a fun moment of the brothers realizing the different social rules that apply to them now they’re white women.
12 “I Know You Hookers Don’t Think This Is Over With.”
Marcus Copeland (Marlon Wayans)
There are several quotes in White Chicks that could be considered problematic and a little sexist but — to fans at least — are still absolutely hilarious if not taken as a justification for repeating the same sentiments oneself. During one of the film’s more iconic scenes, the antagonistic Vandergeld sisters challenge Lisa, Karen, and Tori to an impromptu dance-off at the nightclub, where the two teams dance it out to Beyoncé’s “Crazy In Love.”
Complete with an unexpectedly inappropriate and simple line, the entire scene has early 2000s humor stamped all over it.
Just when the main girls think they have lost, Kevin and Marcus show up. Marcus then says one of the simplest but most cutting White Chicks quotes, and they proceed to take down the Vandergeld sisters with a dance routine to Run-D.M.C.’s “It’s Tricky.” Complete with an unexpectedly inappropriate and simple line, the entire scene has early 2000s humor stamped all over it.
11 “Somebody Throw Shamu Back Into The Ocean!”
Lisa Anderson (Jennifer Carpenter)
Jennifer Carpenter has more than one of the funniest White Chicks quotes when it comes to making inappropriate jokes about Lisa Anderson’s body and her self-image. In the scene that features Kevin in a changing room with a hysterically self-conscious Lisa, he finds himself in an awkward situation when she starts insulting herself.
Kevin throws dozens of different outfits in her direction, and none of them appear to be enough for her, as she shouts out more cruel insults at herself. The terribly insecure Lisa recites a self-deprecating speech, among them Lisa comparing herself to the famous whale. The scene ends with Kevin telling her she needs professional help and running out of the room, highlighting that, while a funny moment, it is also quite sad as well.
10 “How Did You Know? I Love This Song!”
Lattrell Spencer (Terry Crews)
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When Lattrell (played by comedy veteran Terry Crews) is about to take Marcus out on a date, Marcus tries to scare him off with a song he believes he wouldn’t enjoy: “A Thousand Miles” by Vanessa Carlton. To Marcus’s shock, Lattrell loves this song and begins to sing along to it in great spirits. This dazzling scene sees Lattrell making this song his own as Terry Crews delivers a great comedic performance.
It’s an iconic part of the movie and arguably its best subplot, which could very well be the focus of a White Chicks sequel if it ever happens. It’s also a moment that highlights just how adept actor Terry Crews is when it comes to comedic timing and utilizing delivery and facial expressions to really sell a scene’s comedy value — skills that he’d later use when becoming one of the central cast members of Brooklyn 99.
9 “Your Mother’s So Old That Her Breastmilk Is Powder!”
Kevin Copeland (Shawn Wayans)
“Yo Mama” jokes were a playground staple when White Chicks arrived in 2004, and Marlon and Shawn Wayans incorporate them perfectly into the movie, which leads to one of the funniest quotes in the film. Early in Kevin and Marcus’s ruse, they meet the Vandergeld sisters. An insult match breaks out between them, and after Megan tells them, “your mother shops at Saks,” the two realize that “it’s mother time!” and begin to unload on the sisters with a plethora of “yo mama” jokes.
It’s a moment that shows how dominating the Copeland siblings are as women, especially when it comes to roasting.
While filled with various well-remembered White Chicks quotes, the highlight of this scene is a graphic joke about breastmilk followed by Kevin blowing powder at the sisters. It’s a moment that shows how dominating the Copeland siblings are as women, especially when it comes to roasting.
8 “Move, B****!”
Marcus Copeland (Marlon Wayans)
This is another White Chicks quote that is seen by some as problematic due to the specific phrasing, though this doesn’t make it any less funny when it arrives in the controversial cult comedy. White Chicks establishes early on that Marcus is lactose-intolerant. However, he eats quiche at the party, unaware that it contains cheese. After this, Heather, Karen, and Lisa take him to the bathroom. Marcus bursts inside and yells this hysterical line at a woman in the bathroom in his masculine voice.
From here, the scene only gets funnier, as Marcus locks himself in a stall and begins farting loudly as his legs twist in comedic ways. Everyone in the bathroom is obviously horrified but understandably chooses to keep quiet about it. The Wayans have always embraced crude toilet humor, and it makes for a hilarious moment here.
7 “Yo, Hold My Poodle! Hold My Poodle!”
Marcus Copeland (Marlon Wayans)
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While it may seem obvious, a key reason that White Chicks is so beloved is simply due to how funny Shawn and Marlon Wayans are when adopting the titular “white chick” personas of Brittany and Tiffany Wilson. When Kevin and Marcus first emerge in their white girl costumes at the hotel, they face several men who catcall them. The two have the unfortunate experience of what women experience on a daily basis, and they unsurprisingly don’t enjoy it at all.
However, the reaction is quite surprising as the two of them respond to these catcallers violently, with deep voices, threats, and over-the-top anger. While a seemingly obvious joke that is seen in similar movies like Mrs. Doubtfire, this scene immediately sets the tone for what this movie is like — loud, energetic, and funny from start to finish.
6 “I Am So Frickin’ Pissed!”
Marcus Copeland (Marlon Wayans)
White Chicks is a movie that is far from subtle and that extends to the socialite sisters who come across as cartoonishly vapid and vain. After they receive minor injuries in the car, they freak out and refuse to go to the Hamptons. In their outburst of misplaced rage, Brittany yells out, “I am so frickin’ pissed!” in a funny expression of anger.
When Kevin and Marcus are checking into the hotel, they are asked for a credit card and ID. Marcus, not wanting to blow his cover, takes what he learned from Brittany and yells out this line before going on a rant about how his plastic surgeon made him look like Shrek. It’s a line that isn’t an incredibly cerebral line of dialogue, but (like many of the other best quotes in White Chicks) is almost impossible not to laugh at due to Marlon Wayan’s delivery.